Let it Fly
by tmpayne80
Summary: How much can you put yourself through before you snap?  I don't take any credit for the characters.  I only claim that story.  No copyright infringement intended.  Please review me.  There is no such thing as a bad review.  So please review me.
1. Chapter 1

For a few brief moments Richard Castle found himself staring at Beckett. She was beautiful, just beautiful enough forget his anger. The strapless dress only quelled the hurt that was in his heart. A lie was a lie and he reminded himself of that fact. For the shortest time, he felt a hint of jealousy when he watched her walk away with Collin. You have Jacinda and at least she isn't so complicated that you can't understand her, he reminded himself. Still the anger raged that she would have to nerve to keep that to herself.

Once the case wrapped up, he found himself as ticked as he was before. Richard was on the phone while Scotland Yard and Kate said their good byes. He was too busy talking to Jacinda to notice that Kate had made up a bad excuse to not go with Collin for a drink. For the faintest moment, she seemed to care more for him than she did the agent.

He walked over to her to say good night and out the door he went. Jacinda was waiting on his with a huge smile on her face. Jacinda was what he needed right now. He needed someone who let him know where he stood with her. The bubbly blonde was way simpler than what he had with Kate. It was complicated with her.

"How does a drink sound Rick?" the blonde asked cheerfully.

"Sounds great. I know just the place." Richard smiled a forced smile.

"Anyway you say is great must be." The blonde clearly aimed to please.

At the Old Haunt…

"What made you change your mind Kate? I thought you had a lot of paperwork to do." Collins English accent caught her attention.

"It has been a long week and I needed a drink." Kate answered, trying to hide the brewing storm that was in full swing in her mind.

"I am just glad that you called me all the same. Ladies as beautiful as you are worth the call." Kate tried hard to accept Collin's compliment.

"Thank you. I appreciate the compliment." Kate forced a smile onto her face.

Kate ordered her drink and sat down in a booth with Collin hoping that some good conversation would cheer her up. A good upbeat conversation with a man as good looking and charming as him might well take her mind off of what was bothering her most.

Just as she was getting lost in the conversation, her attention turned to the door. There was that bubbly blonde on Castle's arm. She forced herself to pay attention to Collin. Castle was clearly losing interest in her and he showed no interest "coming back.

At the Old Haunt Bar…

"A wine for the beautiful lady and a scotch please." Richard looked into the mirror above the bar.

Kate was sitting with Collin having a pleasant conversation it appeared. She was smiling, but the smile was clearly forced. Had he not been subtle enough for her not see why he was angry? Was she so completely clueless to her own betrayal? The bar tender got his distracted attention and handed him the two drinks. He made up his mind that he was going to charm Jacinda and possibly enjoy a bit of physical fun.

"You bought this place Rick? It is so nice." Jacinda pointed out after a drink of her wine.

"I have been coming here for years. When I found out that this place was at risk of being shut down, I bought it. This place is so historic." Richard smiled proudly.

"Isn't that the lady from the police station?" Jacinda pointed to the booth behind them.

"I think so." Richard tried to play it off as though he had not noticed.

Richard chose to nurse his drink in silence unaware that he had unnerved Jacinda. The look in her eyes let him know that he had better do something to reassure her of his interest. He would have asked her over to his apartment for the night. He could not do it with Kate not far away.

"Are you okay Rick?" Jacinda put her drink down with a look of concern.

"I am fine. I am just tired is all." He put his arm around her shoulders to draw her close to him.

"I could make you tired if you let me." Jacinda's body language was suggestive in every way.

His mind was clearly up for the distraction, but his heart was not going along with it at all. His heart was having no part of it. Jacinda may have been everything Rick could physically want in a woman but she was not Kate. His irritation with his own messed up heart must have found its way outside of his mind.

"I have a flight tomorrow Rick. When I get back, we can go back to my place." Jacinda was clearly making a hasty escape.

"I am so sorry. I am usually livelier than this but it has been a long week and I am tired." Rick apologized, in a vain effort to make her stay.

"You have no need to apologize. I know how long a week can be and I know when sleep is required. I will call you when I get back." Jacinda kissed him on the cheek and left her glass on the bar.

He waved as she walked away and gulped down his drink hard. In his mind, he was calling him every variation of the word "idiot." He had chased off a gorgeous woman and made himself lonely for the night all because of Kate. He drank for the remainder of the time he was there without ever looking behind him.

In the booth…

"You okay Kate?" Collin asked

"I am fine really. I don't get out much these days. I am practically married to my job. Relaxing don't always come easy." Kate answered in her efforts to keep him with her.

"We have that in common. I don't get out much myself. This job demands a lot of attention." Collin smiled at her.

Kate tried to come up with something in response but her mind was elsewhere. Collin was easy on the eyes but the chemistry between them was not the same as it was when she was with Richard. The distance Castle had put between them was taking its toll and she tried hard to hide it in Collin's presence.

"Level with me Kate. What is going on with you right now?" Collin was to the point about her behavior.

"What do you mean? I am just a little tired from the week." Kate tried to hide it but it showed even more.

"I got to get back to the hotel anyway to get some rest before I return to London. Call me if you are ever in London. It would my treat to show you around." Collin merely smiled at her and left her in the booth by herself.

At the bar…

Richard sat there with his third drink angry at himself for scaring off Jacinda and madder at Kate for making him this way. If not for the fact she carried that secret, he and Kate would be sharing a drink together instead of with two people they had minimal interest in. He would have said what he needed to say after that fateful case and they might have been closer than what they were now.

He sat there stewing so long that he had finally had enough stewing and he had to speak his mind. It might not change what had already happened, but at least he could say that he got it off his chest. He was going to let her have it because she deserved that. She was putting him through his own personal version of hell.

He put a twenty into the tip jar and turned to the booth where Kate was staring into space. He would not let that lost look keep him from doing what he needed to do to cure himself of this affliction that haunted him. He had to cure himself of her and all her charms.

The darkness inside his mind and the light in his heart continued to fight with each step he took toward her. He knew he was a little drunk but he had to do this for his own state of mind.

"Castle…I didn't see you here." Kate's gaze fell on his face as he stood at the end of the booth.

"Jacinda had a flight and had to go." Richard tried to hide the darkness with light smile.

"Collin has to fly back to London so he headed back to his hotel room." Kate was trying equally as hard to avoid the unseen issue.

"Why did you lie to me?" the hurt and anger found their way out of the dark caverns in his mind.

"Collin did have to go back to…" Kate clearly had missed the point of the question.

"I don't mean about Collin. When did you remember?" Richard practically whispered.

The look on Kate's face was of pure shock. She had not realized that he had heard her clear as day. She had clearly not realized where he had been when she was interrogating the suspect that day.

"When did you remember? Were my feelings a joke to you?" Richard held back the most violent of his anger.

There were tears coming from her eyes. He was not sure if they were crocodile tears or genuine ones.

"I remembered not long after I recovered. I heard you. I never took them as a joke or something to laugh about. I just did not know what to with it." Kate's anguish appeared to be genuine and sincere.

"You should have told me. I needed to know. You chose to keep me guessing. You deceived me. If you had any feelings for me at all, you would not have done that to me. I thought I knew you but I guess I never did." Richard looked intensely into her eyes.

"I'm sorry Rick. I wish there was more that I could say." Kate's head was in her hands.

"If you have any feelings at all for me, you will allow me one thing. If I kissed you now, would you feel anything or would you lie to me about that too?" Richard knew that he was beyond drunk if he was allowing himself to be tortured this way.

"Castle, you are drunk and I would not do anything to hurt you any further. If you kissed me right now, I would feel more than I have in a long time. Hell I would feel more than what words could convey." Kate answered looking into his eyes.

Castle wasn't sure what to think at the moment. He wanted to kiss her but he would not put himself through more hell than he had already been through. His hands found their way to her face against his will. He was looking into her eyes, about to make another foolish mistake. He was just inches from her mouth when he forced himself to let go and walk away.

He left Kate sitting alone with her own regrets and own realizations. How would she be tomorrow?

Spoilers from Season 3 include Last Call (3x10) and Knockout (3x23). Season Four spoilers include 47 Seconds (4x18) and The Limey (4x19).


	2. Chapter 2

Spoilers for this chapter come from 3x13 Knockdown and 3x26 Knockout. Season Four spoilers include 4x19 47 Seconds and 4x20 The Limey.

Kate Beckett could only sit alone in the booth in stunned stillness. All of this had come to her as a complete surprise. It was clear that Castle was livid with her, but it was in that anger that she saw what she had not seen. She could not help but wonder how he found out about her memory coming back. She had thought all this time it was because of how long she had waited. Lanie got her to thinking that but it was not all Lanie's fault. It had never occurred to her maybe even she was thinking that way before Lanie even brought it up.

The idea that he had found out everything had not even occurred to her. It should have been obvious when he looked back at her with eyes hard as cooled steel. She should have thought about the possibility that Castle might be behind that two sided mirror when she was in the middle of the interrogation. She should have felt the icy cold chill in his words when he talked about sinning in silence. It had not been directed at the suspect but at her the whole time.

Instinct finally overcame the stun when she called the one person to whom she could talk to and get her home safely. She hit the speed dial for Lanie's number. If Kate was extremely lucky, she would be alone and free to give her some company. She would call a cab if Lanie did not answer or if it turned out that she was with Esposito. She prayed that Lanie would be available. She needed to someone to hear her rant and make sense of things. Things made greater sense to her when she was allowed to think out loud. Her whole world was so confused that up and down were completely uncertain.

"Kind of late to be calling don't you think?" Lanie's voice was groggy.

"This is Kate. I was wondering if you would be alone. I would not want to ruin your night." Kate fought to keep the tears within her heart and away from her eyes.

"Kate you sound drunk. Tell me where you are and I will come get you." Lanie must have heard the alcohol in her voice.

"I'm at the Old Haunt. I feel so drunk, confused, and lost. I will explain when you get here." Kate allowed every feeling she had to come out short of crying.

"Richard Ca…" Lanie was about to say the cause of all of this.

"As your friend, I am asking you to not bring up his name right now. I don't want to talk about this over the phone. Please just come and get me." Kate's voice took on an irritated edge.

"Okay, okay. I get it Kate. Be there in five minutes." Lanie's voice revealed understanding.

Kate was not so drunk that she did not know the cost of her tab. She paid for her drinks and stumbled her way up the steps toward the busy city street. She could see the headlight's of Lanie's car appear just as she reached the top step. Her best friend had come through for her once again. Lanie Parish was like the sister that she had always wanted as a child but never had. Kate only looked out of the passenger side window while Lanie drove. The alcohol helped her thinking at all. The alcohol only opened the door to memories that she had tried to forget. The kiss they had shared while trying to save the guys found amplification with the alcohol she consumed. She felt the unintended side effects.

"We're here girl. Let me help you get up there." Lanie helped her out of the passenger seat.

She did not fight Lanie because she knew that she would be too unsteady to walk. Lanie was patient and did not push the subject that she did not want to talk about. Once Kate was able to find a seat on her couch, the dam broke and poured from her eyes.

Kate could feel Lanie's hand on her back.

"Now Kate Beckett, would you mind telling me what in the world happened tonight?" Lanie lifted her head to eye level.

"I read Castle all wrong. You would think that you could read someone better after four years of working together. I missed this one completely. It wasn't the wait that turned him into what we see now, it is what I let slip out during an interrogation." Kate was finally able to sleep.

"I am not following. Please explain." Lanie was surprised by what Kate was saying.

"While I was interrogating the kid we thought planted the bomb, I told him that I remembered everything from when I was shot in the chest. Castle heard about it and now he thinks I never cared. He believes my lie was out of not caring." Kate elaborated to a wide eyed Lanie.

"Again I ask you what in the world happened at the bar tonight? Your explanation doesn't tell me what I need to know." Lanie was not satisfied with the answer.

"I took up the offer to have a drink with Collin and he left when he realized where my mind was. Castle happened to walk in with that blonde." Kate began recounting her story, despite the pain.

"I guess he was as distracted by my presence as I was his. She got up and walked out of the bar. He walked up to my booth and he looked angry." Kate felt the fear and pain of the moment come back.

"So what happened when he approached your booth?" Kate could see that she had Lanie's full attention.

"He put his hands on my table and looked me in the eye. He asked me when I started remembering everything. I tried to explain myself, but he just refused to listen to me. He got closer and put his hands on my face. He asked if I kissed him right then and there if I would feel anything at all. This Castle was a man I have never seen." Kate could still feel the stiff, hardened hands on her face.

"I have nothing for you. I have nothing I can say to make you feel better. Anything I would have to say would hurt more if anything." Lanie's face was full of brutal honesty.

"I have become my own wrecking ball. I should have thought about the idea that he would have been behind that mirror. I would not have opened my mouth and hurt him so bad." Kate hung her pounding head.

"All humans have wrecking balls. We use them against ourselves more times than we know. Your wrecking ball hurt you and it definitely hurt Castle." Lanie's words did not make her feel any better but she knew that Lanie was 100% correct.

Kate looked into her sympathetic friend's eyes looking for answers. She found only sympathy. She needed to know how she could fix this messed up situation.

"Before you do anything else for the night, you are getting some rest and sobering up. By Monday morning you will be sober and clear headed. Take it from me, alcohol only complicates things worse. When you get back Monday, I would talk to the person who saw Castle before he entered the booth. I have a sneaking suspicion that the person you need to talk to is Javi. He can help you piece together what happened." Lanie helped Kate get comfortable on the couch.

"I won't argue with you on that." Kate felt the fatigue kick in.

"You won't argue because you know I am right." Lanie smiled.

"I don't know how I missed it in the first place?" Kate's body was quieting her voice.


	3. Chapter 3

The only two spoilers to this one are from Season Four. The episodes were 47 Seconds and The Limey.

"Rough weekend Beckett?" Esposito joked, it made Kate jump.

Kate shot him a dirty look as she set down her motor cycle helmet in her desk drawer and her coat on the back of the chair. She was in no mood to joke considering what happened on Friday night. She discovered two things that night. One, reading between the lines is far from easy. Two, you don't forget everything you deal with when you are drunk. She still could remember feeling the anger in his hands when he put them on her face. She could still remember the anger and hurt in his voice. Alcohol doesn't erase what she wished she could erase.

Esposito caught that look and seemed to retreat to his desk next to Ryan. She felt guilty for her reaction. She knew that Esposito did not mean to irritate her. It very well was his lame attempt at cheering her up. He had always been like that brother that you can't help but love, no matter the mood she might be in. There was no cup of coffee on her desk and she knew that meant one thing. It meant that Castle was still mad and he had not returned to the precinct yet.

Kate knew where she could get some coffee so that was where she headed. A small piece of the hangover still remained. She still had a mild headache, but the nausea has worn off the day before. Kate had not heard the muffled sound of footsteps while she got her coffee. Kate had just about scalded Esposito with her hot coffee when she turned around. He looked concerned for her.

"Lanie tells me that you had a really bad night on Friday. Castle did something to shake you up. Maybe I can help?" Esposito motioned for her to sit in the break room.

"Yes it was a rough night. Castle was the cause of it. You might be able to help me." Kate calmly sat down because she had been cried out two nights before.

"What do you need?" Esposito looked in her eyes.

"When did Castle show up after the explosion? Do you remember where he was when I was in the interrogation room?" Kate kept her voice from growing an unintentional edge.

"If I recall right, he strolled in with two coffees and asked where you were. I told him you were in the interrogation room with the suspect and he went to the booth. He was practically storming out ten minutes later. He did not say anything and I did not ask." Esposito answered, Kate became horrified with the truth.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Kate tried not to become mad at one of the guys she had come to respect.

"I thought you knew he would have been there so I did not say anything." Esposito realized that what he had not mentioned was now very important.

Kate sat in the seat not caring if her coffee was getting colder by the second. Esposito confirmed her worst fear. She had been careless with her words and emotions that day. She was reaping the fruits of that one moment in time she lost control.

"I think I am why Castle has been acting so strange. He heard me admit something that only one other soul knows. He is mad at me, not you guys." Kate did not like the realization one bit.

"Detective Kate Beckett, are you telling me that you started this mess?" Esposito did not sound mad, but he did sound disappointed.

She chose not to give a verbal answer. She instead chose to answer with complete silence.

"Good luck cleaning this one up. As your friend, I can see you learned your lesson. As your colleague, I encourage you to fix this. Castle plays a big part in solving a lot of our crimes. We need him and you will have to get him back before he gets himself killed working with someone else." Esposito stood up after pushing back from the table.

Kate nodded her head in agreement. Esposito was right. Castle had been a very important piece of their collective puzzle in solving countless murders. It would become harder again without his help. She took a sip of her coffee and then poured it out when she realized that it had become cold.

She returned to her desk and a ringing telephone. There had been another body found and homicide had been dispatched to the scene. She thought about calling Castle to let him know there was a new case. She knew that he would not answer it most likely when he saw who it was. He had been livid two days ago and he probably felt the same now. She knew that she had to go to his apartment and find him to get him there.

She picked up her badge, gun, and her coat and headed for the elevator. She just hoped that Castle's indignation was not stronger than his will to be part of the greater good.


	4. Chapter 4

Richard Castle woke up to see the murder board up and a bottle of scotch completely empty. His head was splitting and spinning all at the same time. The last thing he remembered was watching Jacinda walk away. He was not sure what happened next. He knew that the hangover wasn't too bad. His stomach was feeling fine but his head was pounding. Kate was tearing him apart and he knew what he needed to do to feel better. He had been contacted by another detective about getting some hands on research done. He was going to take him on it.

"Good morning Richard. The last time I saw you drink like that was a long time ago. I bet it had something to do with Kate Beckett. She is tearing you apart." Martha looked at the wall behind him.

"Why do you bother the investigation after what she has put you through? Do you like torturing yourself?" Castle knew her question well and he still did not have an answer, not even for himself.

"You are asking a question I have no answer for. I don't understand it myself. None of my first wives had this effect on me. Now please do me a favor and let me be." Castle answered with an edge to his voice.

Not understanding why was eating at him. He told his mother that he could shut off his feelings, but he found that he could not. He still felt feelings for him beyond rage. He felt like he had to help her get answers. It made him mad to know that she had lied to him without ever letting him know the truth. He looked up at the murder board on his wall and felt a pang of guilt. He too was harboring a lie. He had to lie to keep her alive. He had been warned by his source to keep her out of it or she just might end up dead herself.

"Richard darling, Beckett is at the door. Do I let her in?" his mother called from the living room.

"Let her in." He had to bring this to an end. He had to end his misery.

Castle forgot to bring down the board before Beckett walked in to see it. Beckett's eyes were huge with disbelief. He felt a wave of guilt overcome like a huge tsunami. Kate said nothing but stared at him with anger in her eyes.

"Richard Castle, you have the nerve to tell me that my lie was a sin. Yours is no better. How long have you been doing this?" Kate's anger reflected in her eyes.

He could only stand there speechless. He knew she was right but he had a better reason for the lie than she had. Was he to tell her that his informant warned her to keep out of it? Was he to tell her that if she had pursued it further that she would have ended up in the morgue?

"Your secret and mind are not the same. You made me believe that you remembered nothing at all from the shooting. You heard me say things that I thought you had not heard. My secret has kept you in the land of the living. Suffice it to say that if you would have kept going, you would have had Roy's fate." Castle avoided the question she had actually asked.

"A secret is a secret. Right here and right now we will set this straight before you get yourself killed. I hear that Detective Slaughter called you in and I think that would be a bad idea. Something about him doesn't seem right and you are not a cop. You are a writer." Kate stood with her arms crossed.

"I am a big boy and I don't need you treating me like big sister. You don't seem to care how I feel. I don't need your lectures and I don't need your company." Castle stood stone faced.

Kate did something unexpected. She locked the door of his office and stood in front of the door. She was very determined to have her say.

"Richard Alexander Rogers, you have a whole team back at the 12th Precinct that does give a damn about you. They don't like Detective Slaughter any more than I do. So we are going to get all of the cards on the table." Kate scared him with the mention of his given name.

"I will go first. I want to know how you found out." Kate sat down on the other chair.

"You must have forgotten about the two way mirror or didn't you think I would be there?" Castle felt the ice form in his veins.

"Okay maybe I should have thought about that." Kate's eyes remained focused.

"All I want to know is if you feel the same or are my instincts correct? Either you love me or you don't. Which is it?" Castle could not keep the coldness out of his voice.

"You think I don't feel the same? Where would you get that idea?" Kate's question was insulting.

"If you loved me, you would have told me what I needed to know by telling me first hand instead of hearing it come out of your mouth another way. You would have told me." Castle could not keep the pain from contaminating his words.

"For your information, I have had a lot to work through. I would have gotten to it if you had given me the chance to tell you. Instead you do the most boneheaded, caveman thing there is to do, you get mad. I did not want to lose you and the bond we built. Is that a good enough reason for you?" Kate let every ounce of venom come out of her system.

"Boneheaded, Caveman…This is what I was talking about. I would think you would have understood if the shoe were on the other foot." Castle felt the ice in his veins melt with the anger that was coming up behind it.

"My turn to explain I bet. After Roy was killed he sent some files to a man. That man told me to keep you out of it any way I could. I did not tell you about it to keep you alive. If that isn't love, then what is?" Castle tried to hold back the tenderness with not much success.

Kate was speechless yet she looked angry all the same.

"I am giving you a second chance to answer my question. Do you feel the same or am I making a fool of myself again?" Castle looked at her, hoping that he was not setting himself up for more heartache.

"I think I do." Kate seemed uncertain.

"You do or you don't. There is no think. It damn near killed me to see you on that ground bleeding. I almost lost you. I guess I have my answer. Let me know when you make up your mind." Castle turned off the screen and unlocked the door with no other words.

"You are being a big fool Castle. Detective Slaughter will get you killed. Please don't put that on my head." Kate looked at him, almost pleading.

"Tell the guys that it's nothing personal towards them. Tell 'em I might be back but it isn't a guarantee. You know where the door is. Please leave." Castle felt the hurt re-saturate his soul to the bone.

Kate knew that she could not stop him and he had basically washed his hands of the team. She had failed to fix the problem. She had only made it worse.

**Spoilers: Third Season: Knockout**

**Fourth Season: Rise, 47 Seconds, Headhunters**


	5. Chapter 5

**Partial** spoiler is from Season Four episode 21 Headhunters.

Kate arrived on the murder scene feeling worse than she had when she went to look for Castle. Why could she not say what she had wanted to say when the opportunity had presented itself? It was three simple little words. They weren't some foreign language she could not speak and they weren't sign language. She now had to face Espo and Ryan. She had to tell them that he had left the team for the time being. She would have to tell them that she was the problem and not them. She pushed the conversation to the back of her mind to handle the job at hand. There was a body she had to see and a case to solve.

"Where's Castle Beckett?" Esposito asked as if looking for Castle to follow her out of the car.

"Not coming. We don't need to him to solve this murder. We did not need him before he blew in and we don't need him now." Kate held her tone of voice to reflect all business.

Esposito and Ryan said nothing more. They went about their usual routine of analyzing the crime scene for clues. Kate said nothing unless it had something to do with the situation at hand. It was easier to do that than it was to tell them all she had learned. The forensic technicians were buzzing around them like busy bees collecting evidence with brushes, powder, and countless evidence bags. Lanie called Kate to the body, surprised she had not asked first. Kate knew that she had broken her normal behavior by not asking first. This would open her up to later Lanie-to-Kate interrogation later.

"Our victim is female, mid-twenties, and dressed to the nines. It looks like her killer may have been familiar to her. I don't have a cause of death right away but I can tell you that her cause of death is not plain. Unlike you, this one will take more than my usual work to figure out." Lanie never looked up.

"Thanks Lanie. I have to go. Call me when you have some news for me." Kate cut her words abnormally short.

"Kate Beckett, you are not yourself and I bet I know the reason why. We will talk sometime soon and you will have no choice but to tell me." Kate heard the serious tone in her best friend's voice.

"It has nothing to do with Cas…him. I am tired and I have a case to solve. Like I said, call me when you have something for me." Kate found herself being particularly short with the best friend she had right now.

"Whatever you say detective. I know for a fact it will eat you up and that is when you will talk to me." Lanie responded sounding just as short.

The investigation seemed to drag on and on. She had never realized how much faster the investigations went Castle solving it right alongside of her. His replacement was Ryan. The empty chair beside her desk reminded her even more of the person missing. She did not want to admit it but Lanie was right. It was eating away at her a little bit at a time.

"Beckett, I have some bad news about the detective that Castle is following. One of his boys is under internal investigation for receiving bribes from the people they are supposed to bust. Our vic happened to be the girl of one of the gang members he busted years ago. According to my information, this gang team is shady. That means Castle just might be in serious danger." Kate heard Espo's words and felt her heart stop.

Kate said nothing at first. She was not trying to lose her professional appearance in front of so many other people. What she was thinking was clearly personal. Not every uniform needed to know her inner turmoil. Her own team, however, needed to know what was going on.

"Espo, Ryan, follow me for a second." She could feel her captain's eyes looking up at her.

The boys followed her into the office and she shut the door. She was going to explain this the most professional way she could think of. She had to keep her own emotions out of the mix to prevent an imminent death.

"Castle said he was not sure if he was coming back. He wanted you guys to know that it was not about you two. It is something that Castle and me have to find our way through. In the meantime, we need to find a way to protect Castle. He is a writer not a cop. If anything happens to him, we will have hell raining down on us in no time. So anyone have any ideas?" Kate explained.

The boys looked at her with hostile eyes. Her own stern expression countered theirs back to dealing with the situation at hand. She knew they had taken him in as one of their own. Ryan only held his silence.

Kate could not let anything happen to Castle so she kept tabs on Detective Slaughter. She prayed that soon Castle would see the kind of detective he was and crawl back to the 12th before he got himself killed. Not long after watching Slaughter do his dirty work, Castle came back visibly shaken by what he had witnessed. After explaining all he had seen in the interrogation room, Kate and Castle learned the truth of who killed the young lady and why.

Kate felt like laughing in his Slaughter's face for his crappy police work. Being the professional she was, she did not say a word. Whenever Detective Slaughter turned into the male pig she knew he was, she shot him down watching the smoke follow him. When her back was turned, Slaughter had taken a swing and punched Castle in the gut. It was not until he walked away that she said what she needed to say.

Maybe Castle could learn a thing or two from this situation, Kate thought to herself.

After speaking her peace, she walked away. Castle only looked at her. What would she get the next time he worked with her. Would she get the pompous, arrogant jerk or would she get the Castle she had come to know and respect.

-The End_


End file.
